It's been 4 days

Yes it's been 4 days since I last entered anything here.

That does it!!! My luck has left me! Don't know if temporary or for good.

I haven't done any progress since last tuesday. Have not figured out yet what was under my nose that would make everything good again.

I'm full of myself, as I am always been reminded, that a simple action can change or bring me back to my self but have not done it for the past days.

I've exiled myself to our home, hoping I could find light of some sort, instead I feel resentment all over in a new level.....I was on my way to work now, but I can't seem to get out of the house with water surrounding my pathway. It's been raining hard since 1:30am, and I know the possibility of flood. I was a bit confident it might subside by the time I'm about to leave the house. Unfortunate that I am, I can't leave the spot where I was standing at. I wanted to shout of despair everytime a truck would pass by with a wave of flood coming towards me. No more tears to cry for me. I'm all dried out.

I'm stuck with a project that I don't know if I'll be able to handle because I have no layout for the client and contractor, because I have not yet change and my friend refuses to speak to me until I change.

Life is really different here. There's no life here. People are so laid back, whatever is happening to the outside world is unheard of. Yet I came here, again. Maybe this is one of the things I'm being reminded. Being the old me has to stop and I should never look back from that selfish person. I'm not told that not to think of my family but for me to be more together of myself, to not be my bad self. I don't have to entertain anymore any unnecessary thoughts that are not helping me at all.

Today will be different and new...That's my final promise

I will learn to throw the old and become the new person I am suppose to be. All hatred and disappointments of my past will be gone for good and I will look at it as lessons I should learn from. If I fall I will rise back again, may be hurt but never defeated by my own self.