I had a long talk with my friend since 3am and I'm glad we had that long talk...about something else.
I couldn't go back to sleep. Lunch was cooked very early.
But the events for the day was unexpected. The topic I sooo hate suddenly was thrown at me, as if I'm the most (inutil) person. And my mom has to be the person to even say that.
I could not hate her too much because of her condition, but this is not different from what she use to be before she got sick. It does hurts hearing that from her. It only confirms that my part in this family is just for comfort purposes. To fill in the responsibilities that was not done (at all).
I was teary-eyed during lunch while mom's seated on the other side of the table. I just bowed down, I couldn't look at her. I'm not even sure if she noticed, but judging from her actions I don't think she even knew.
I don't want to hurt her, or to even say stuff that's disrespectful, but I didn't expect it to hear it that way. She said I should help my sister with all the responsibilities....
Later I'll be going to Glorietta, and I'd see all the families there again, spending their sundays together. I will wish again I'd had the same normal family like theirs. If I had know specifically that my place in this world/our family is to slave myself to work for them I could have gone abroad after college.
Really didn't expect that today...
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